I Don't Care if My Sasquatch Lover Says the World is Exploding, She's Hot But I Play Bass and There's Nothing Hotter Right Now Than Rap-Rock

Download or read book I Don't Care if My Sasquatch Lover Says the World is Exploding, She's Hot But I Play Bass and There's Nothing Hotter Right Now Than Rap-Rock written by Lacey Noonan and published by The Dishes Are Done, Man!. This book was released on 2015-11-26 with total page 117 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: The adventure continues! Here it is, the long-awaited sequel to Lacey Noonan's hit: "I Don't Care if My Best Friend's Mom is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her (...Because It's the New Millennium)." After narrowly escaping with their lives from the Lemaire family, Jason and Starla are now in a race against time to find the rendezvous point that will get them to Starla’s homeland. Why? Because Earth is about to blow the hell up, that's why! Which doesn’t keep our two sweethearts, of course, from stopping every forty-five minutes to make sweet, crypto-zoological love in any pond, pool or river they can find. The fresh air, the free love, the freedom of their Japanese crotch rocket vibrating beneath them... It’s a hell of a way to travel. But something isn’t right. Jason is beginning to suspect Starla doesn’t actually know where she’s going. It’s obvious she’s hiding something from him. And then one fateful night—just as they’re about to make contact with "her people" in a weird yet sensual symbiosis of sound at the top of a pine tree—their lives are forever changed... Because that’s when Jason abruptly joins 311, currently on tour with the Lilith Fair. The Rap-Rock genre has always called to Jason. It aligns with his wild-man tendencies. It’s everything he’s ever dreamed of. But now he must choose between Starla and his Rock & Roll career! WHY? Why can’t he have both? Why is it either Starla’s way (which involves a lot of driving on the highway) or the highway? What’s going on? Is it the new millennium or not? Is Jason's wildness getting out of control? Dangerous, even? Is there anything else to eat besides squirrels? Why does Radiohead’s new album "Kid A" sound like evil computers sucking down gigabytes of whale dong? These questions and a sensitive portrait of what life was like at the dawn of the 21st century will leave you haunted, delighted and panting for more. Full of the acrobatic writing-style Lacey Noonan is known for, her scintillating turns of phrase that sparkle on the page and dribble off your kindle with gooberous joy, "I DON'T CARE IF MY SASQUATCH LOVER SAYS THE WORLD IS EXPLODING, SHE'S HOT BUT I'M A BASS PLAYER AND THERE'S NOTHING HOTTER RIGHT NOW THAN RAP-ROCK" is the greatest book you will read all millennium! BONUS: Contains a DEFINITIVE LIST of The Top 100 Bands of All-Time that will leave you breathless and panting for more. The New Millennium is really heating up.