The Extravaganzas of J. R. Planché, Esq. , 1825-1871 Volume 1

Download or read book The Extravaganzas of J. R. Planché, Esq. , 1825-1871 Volume 1 written by James Robinson Planché and published by Theclassics.Us. This book was released on 2013-09 with total page 82 pages. Available in PDF, EPUB and Kindle. Book excerpt: This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can usually download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1879 edition. Excerpt: ...People. Well! if this isn't a precious go, We should be glad what is to know; Fight or be fined, unless you've a mind Just to be hang'd for treason! Pray, sir, excuse the liberty, But is not this some joke? Herald. No! Soon you will find it's Hobson's choice Brave Volunteers--you must enroll! Or pay your duty to the King--So settle which you please on. People. Well, I'd as soon be hang'd as fall Fighting for any reason! So to secure his capital, We must reduce our own. (Exeunt Herald and Populace; Baron. What's to be done? Alas! the heavy day! Too old to fight and much too poor to pay. Bear arms I can't--indeed, opposed to strife, I never could bear arms in all my life! A tender youth, the task of drilling bored me--A carpet knight, the least exertion floored me! A cripple now, to Court I can't stump down, And to stump up, I haven't half-a-crown. I have no son my substitute to be--My family consists of daughters three, All grown-up girls, whose fortunes are their charms; So that I haven't e'en a child in arms! How to 'scape hanging--hang me if I know! Myr. My dearest father, pray don't take on so; Meet like a man your fortune, good or ill! Or if you can't, why then your daughter will! Per. What! like a man? Myr. Aye, sister, like a man; The only way that help him now I can. A coat and waistcoat I intend to sport, And be my father's deputy at Court. Per. You? Flir. You? Baron. With gratitude I'm almost mute! What, daughter! you become my substitute? Per. But should they make you fight? Myr. To fight I'm willing. I've oft been told that I look very killing. Fur. You storm a fortress? Per. Or besiege a town? Myr. Before one I can easily sit down. Baron. You mount a breach? Myr. Oh, sir, experience teaches, --I mean at once to mount a pair of..